Jamaica Jim's Silly Stuff - "DIF"

Jamaica Jim's Silly Insanity!

Warning: Reading the below text can be hazardous -- to your bad mood!

"D.I.F." - Dreaded Island Fever

(The below information was originally created by my friend, Ray Owsley, when we were both playing on Prodigy.  Here's to you, Ray!)

DIF is a real, not imagined, affliction which is contracted by first time visitors to the Caribbean! People contracting the disease usually start showing symptoms within the first twenty-four hours of first setting foot on a Caribbean island.  The initial symptom is an uncontrollable urge to lay on a beach and do absolutely nothing.  All those "must do" plans seem to melt away in the Caribbean sunshine.  When the afflicted are asked about going somewhere or doing something, the reply is usually, "What's the DIFference?  It can wait until tomorrow!"

DIF is further compounded by the effects of a strange force found only in the Caribbean.  It is called "Sand Gravity!"  When the disease meets up with the force, the poor afflicted soul finds it hard to even get up to retrieve another cold beverage!  That's why some resorts employ beach waiters and waitresses.

The disease gets progressively worse as time goes on.  Even couch potatoes are more active than DIF sufferers!  Another symptom of the disease has been reported by flight attendants, who say that spouses have been observed dragging their mates aboard aircraft leaving for the United States.  The afflicted have been heard to scream, "One more day -- just one more day!!!"

Back in the states, the deadly disease continues to affect victims.  They have been reported posting pictures and even posters of a tranquil island scene, on office walls and near their desks.  One sufferer was even reported to have taped an island picture on his clip board at work! People with DIF have reported that they often day dream about that special island in the sun, while at work.  Others have reported seeing people in serious business meetings with a silly grin on their face and a far away look in their eyes.

At home it doesn't get any better!  The poor sufferer forgets about the lawn, house work, kids, little league, friends, neighbors, family and even their job! In an extreme case, one forgets about house payments, car payments and social responsibilities.  All they can think of is, "How can I figure a way to return to the islands?"

There is no known cure for DIF!  All of the people who tried to find a cure, were themselves afflicted and ran off to some Caribbean location! There are only "treatments" for this dreaded affliction.  The treatment consists of a large "dose" of warm Caribbean sunshine, soft sandy beaches, warm Caribbean sea water and many cold drinks served at a beach bar.  There is a downside to this however.  The afflicted build up a resistance to the treatments and have to return more and more frequently and for longer periods to relieve the symptoms!  Most of the regulars round The Caribbean Travel Forum are hopelessly and helplessly afflicted and will never, recover!  The CDC and your government don't even acknowledge that this disease exists because they don't want to have a mass panic and have all of the citizens rush to the Caribbean.

The main problem is, DIF is something that you either already have -- or something you will get! (Grin!) 


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